Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize