We're facebook friends in real life
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
She said her name was "party"
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
