Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
