I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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