So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Boobs are out for the taking
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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