Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize