I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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