We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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