so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
