I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
don't judge my taste in strippers
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
