I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You left your underwear on the fireplace
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
