u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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