Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
