Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
These tits shall not be calmed
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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