Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
