I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
