I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
