Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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