cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
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Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
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My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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