Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
