East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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