No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
