he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
