we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
a search helicopter?!
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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