bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
