My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
