It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
