This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize