Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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