then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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