3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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