i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
