He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
