You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
