I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
