I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
