The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
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