I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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