how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
