You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
