just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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