East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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