i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
