Her vagina should come with caution tape.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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