yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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