; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
