$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
It's like God shit irony all over that family
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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