If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
