You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
