there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
No stitches, just platelets and will power
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He passed out mid-signature
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
