Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize