You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
