I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize