i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
