What a fucking waste of an outfit
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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