Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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