It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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