i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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