I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I think people are normalizing furries
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
