I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You smell like stripper and shame
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Randomize
