if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
