Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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