Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
